Notice to Employees

Dear STAFF,

Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.


1) TRANSPORTATION:

It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.


A) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

B) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.

C) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.


2) ANNUAL LEAVE :

Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! Said 1 employee).

- They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.



3) LUNCH BREAK:

A) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

B) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

C) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.



4) SICK DAYS:

We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.

- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.



5) SURGERY :

As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.

- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.

- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.



6) INTERNET USAGE :

All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary.

Best regards,
HR

I'm a mean manager i know...hehe


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So i promised in my last post to let you all know what happened between me and BF. After reading all the comments left on the post, i felt encouraged and decided to call him first but when i got the phone to call i was'nt brave enough ti call so i just sent him a text apologising, he didn't reply for about 15mins i knew he was just forming. Well he replied back saying its not like he wanted me to apologise,he just didnt like the way we had nothing to say to each other, that its scary if we both can't talk.

Anyhoo, we talked things over but HRH still refused to say a word about what i needed him to say, well i just let things go didn't want us to have another bad time so i didn't force him this time around,but i wasn't happy how he still refused to talk about it. So we now good and things are going well before we have another fitght.LOL

Happy weekend guys, hope you all have plans for it. Mine is a long one friday is a public holiday here so i have 3 days to sleep...yayyy!!!

Xx